HAFTW is a Berlin-based post-indie and Neue Türkische Welle band formed in 2021 by members from Turkey and Germany, whose music fuses the chaotic energy of Neukölln with the soulful melancholy of Turkish poetry. Their sound—equally cathartic and conflicting—is showcased in their single “One by One” from the upcoming album “Unknown Territories,” and they have earned recognition with releases on influential indie labels like Detriti, Cold Transmission, and Oraculo Records. Acclaimed for their dynamic live performances across Europe and featured in film and television projects, HAFTW continues to push musical boundaries while inviting audiences on a transformative cultural journey.
So to start with, why did you call the LP ‘Unknown Territories’
HAFTW: From the very beginning of our musical journey, we were placed within genres like post-punk and goth. We happened to make music in that style, worked with certain labels, and found ourselves in the goth scene, but it was never a conscious decision on our part to fit into a specific category. We have no problem with any scene or genre, but honestly, not many things about our musical journey have been planned or deliberate.
We wanted to explore, take the road less traveled, and embrace getting lost in the process. Maybe we got a bit too lost. It took us two years, after all! Haha.
Jokes aside, the moment that really shaped our perspective was when we came across a quote by David Bowie. He said something like:
“If you feel safe in the area you are working in, you are not working in the right area. Always go a little further into the water than you feel you are capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth. And when you do not feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you are just about in the right place to do something exciting.”
That gave us the courage to step into the unknown completely, to break free from any perceived boundaries, and to see where the music could take us.
What made you decide to start working on a LP instead of another EP or a single?
HAFTW: We felt an LP would give us the canvas to accommodate full-on discovery. A single would not allow for full-scale exploration. An EP was something we had done before, and we were expected to do another one, but that did not really suit the nature of the unknown discovery process.
It somehow also gave the possibility to build a whole map of the spheres we discovered. It felt more round if this makes sense.
For emerging artists, it is highly recommended to release singles to build a following and gain attention. Even for that reason, it felt liberating to break free and choose an LP, allowing us to create in the way that felt right to us.
What did you find to be most different about working on an LP?
HAFTW: The number of songs makes an LP a larger-scale project. The discovery-based approach of the LP also makes it difficult at times to have a clear reference point for individual songs. The purpose was to break free and get lost in the process, but that also made it harder to interpret the results of our discoveries. Overall, it took longer than expected. It could have been an ongoing process for even longer, honestly, but we needed to set a finish line somewhere to allow for new discoveries. We have more songs that will remain unreleased than the number of songs on the LP. We might release them at some point in the future.
Last but not least, collaborating with other artists, sound engineers, and technicians was a different process for this LP compared to before. It was also a unique opportunity to observe their approach to music and our songs.
How’s your relationship with LPs changed over the years? What was it like buying them back then, what is it like for you to listen to them now?
HAFTW: We always enjoyed buying LPs. It is like buying an immersive experience. You put it on more consciously and travel to this different place the artist created. Also, getting an LP gifted is great, I feel. Your friends invite you to share an experience which touched them. It is a concept from beginning to end. Everything is as it is for a reason and even though it might bring you to different destinations in itself, it is a whole. And every time you listen to it, it adds a layer of your own experience during those times. It’s a purely magical collection of different memories and emotions of different people.
For our own LP, we feel like we are archaeologists of ourselves. This is actually applicable to any artist. When the magical process of creation ends and the artist revisits their work, it can be haunting or challenging. As someone who was deeply involved in the process, your perception of the work changes. At times, it matures, develops, and grows. Other times, you might find yourself in an ongoing struggle with the piece.
We have love and compassion for our past selves. Listening to these songs and walking with them through the countless streets of Berlin over the past two years is, in a way, like embracing your past selves, revisiting memories, and watching yourselves grow. It goes beyond any categorical adjectives. It is truly a new experience.
And finally, is the LP a generational relic? Do you think it will live on with younger artists?
HAFTW: Younger generations are discovering that too. You can see that with younger artists. Maybe the medium changed so much, so the decision to listen to an LP is less conscious. It is of course more ritual to put on a vinyl and sit there to listen than to press a button for digital consumption. But this doesn’t break the idea of a concept in general.
‘’The source of creative activities is shared, while their approaches and methods differ. Focusing on one or several of these is necessary for gaining expertise in a specific field and being able to express oneself. However, the time and effort required by this process may prevent individuals from experiencing other methods and approaches. Although the formation of social groups around these fields of interest and activity is of vital importance, over time, if these groups become rigid and impermeable, it can hinder richer social and creative interactions, causing each field to remain confined within its own echo chamber.
For someone with deep knowledge and experience in a particular method, genre, or area of interest, engaging with and experiencing productions in vastly different or even seemingly opposing fields has the potential to provide new insights. These insights can, in turn, lead to a deeper understanding of their own discipline.
In essence, all these different forms of production are merely varied human experiences stemming from the same source. Therefore, what is truly worthwhile is to bring these different experiences together by creating common spaces that do not discriminate based on genre or approach—spaces where the journey of producing and learning can be lived as directly as possible, without being overshadowed by external motives.’’
Noesis Collective was founded with these thoughts and aims as a non-profit initiative. The collective launched its activities with Noetic Noises Fest #1, held on December 13–15, 2024. The festival featured performances spanning electroacoustic free improvisation, acoustic folk, experimental hip-hop, death metal, progressive rock, black metal, ancient folk music, and cabaret rock, alongside painting, sculpture, and photography exhibitions.
The collective is currently working on its upcoming events and has also launched its website. Through this platform, it aims to share works in various fields—such as writing and visual arts—and, in the long run, to establish a comprehensive space for communication and collaboration among creators.
If you would like to submit your work for publication, you can contact the collective at info@noesiscollective.com.
The festival’s aim of fostering interaction among artists from different disciplines began to take concrete form when one of the works from Kıvanç Yılmaz‘s exhibition was used as a stage decoration for black metal artist Kralizec.
From 2017-2022, Lea Drescher worked at the Berlin-based film production company mîtosfilm, which produces and distributes Kurdish stories between the Middle East and Germany. She worked as Production Manager on ‘In The Blind Spot’ by Ayşe Polat that premiered at Berlinale 2023 and received the Bronze Award for Best Film at the German Film Awards 2024 and she coordinated the Kurdish Film Festival Berlin for several editions. In 2024, she completed the M.A. program in Visual Anthropology at the Media University in Berlin with ‘This Must Be The Place’, which is her first medium-length documentary film.
‘This Must be the Place’ – somewhere between imagination and reality an anthropological film on the migration of Kyrgyz nurses to Germany
Missed the connecting flight to Bishkek. I’m annoyed because there’s no internet at the airport and because the journey seems to take forever. I keep reading Chingiz Aitmatov’s book ‘Childhood in Kyrgyzstan’. It’s actually ridiculous to think of my journey as exhausting in relation to the distance I cover in the time and the comfort with which I travel; compared to the days-long marches through the Kyrgyz mountains of little Aitmatov in the book, when he carried banknotes from village to village. He walked for hours, for days, wading through cold waters. (…) I am looking forward to seeing the mountains in Kyrgyzstan (…) The journey to Bishkek continues tonight at 8 p.m. and until then I am roaming around Istanbul in the sun, trying not to feel stressed. Suddenly the time in Bishkek seems far too short, the project overbearing, and at the same time irrelevant (…) What for? (apart from achieving a degree). Not knowing what’s ahead is giving me bad thoughts right now. Gözleme is ready.
field note, 05.04.2024, İstanbul, bistro
In spring 2024, I travel from Berlin, where I live, to Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan. I am researching the migration of nursing staff from Kyrgyzstan to Germany for my graduation film in Visual Anthropology. In Kyrgyzstan, I want to get to know participants of the EDUVISO program.
The company EDUVISO has been training young people as nurses for the German labour market in cooperation with medical colleges in Kyrgyzstan since 2019. The nurses are placed with employers in Saxony, eastern Germany. Care for the elderly is a particular focus. EDUVISO promotes participation in its program at high schools throughout the country.
So far, around a dozen nurses have been placed in Dresden and the nearby small town of Pirna. Hundreds more young people have joined the program. However, it is still unclear how many of them will actually migrate. It takes an enormous amount of motivation, perseverance and adaptability to go through all the steps as the process of becoming a fully recognized nursing professional in Germany takes many years and includes various exams. Passing the required German exams in particular proves to be a major challenge for many participants.
With the research in Kyrgyzstan, I want to get a closer look at how the young participants imagine their future, what challenges they face when preparing for migration and what drives them to leave their home country to work as a nurse in Germany. What perceptions of Germany do they have from afar?
A year before I leave for Bishkek, I am looking for a topic for my final project when my grandfather dies. For the first time in my life, I say goodbye to someone who is emotionally close to me. Shortly after, my grandmother moves into a retirement home. She can no longer look after herself and the family is scattered across Germany.
photo, 25.08.2023
I visit her in her new home on a sunny afternoon. She seems in quite good spirits, shows me the sunflowers on the balcony, smiles about the lively life in the neighboring courtyard and tells me about a nurse from Cameroon who takes care of her. She says that many of the nurses working here come from abroad.
A few months later, my grandmother also dies. It seems that the absence of my grandfather, who she spent most of her life with side by side, weakened her body faster.
That is how I begin to research the topic of migration and care. People come to a new country with hopes and plans for their future and here, they care for people who look back on many years behind, and who are now dependent on the support of others.
Current statistics predict a shortage of up to 690,000 care workers in Germany by 2049. Recruiting nurses from abroad is one of the strategies for closing personnel gaps. According to an analysis by the Federal Employment Agency, the proportion of care workers with a foreign nationality almost doubled between 2017 and 2022.
People from economically weaker countries migrate to work in the care sector in economically stronger countries; this is a worldwide phenomenon of capitalism (global care chains). While overall more men cross borders to find work abroad, labor migration in the care sector is predominantly female.
“By ethnoscape, I mean the landscape of people who constitute the shifting world in which we live […] as more people and groups deal with the reality of having to move or the fantasy of wanting to move.”
When I learn that EDUVISO participants are being placed in the cities of Dresden and Pirna, I can’t help but instantly think of the increasing shift to the right. In the eastern German states, formerly the GDR, right-wing parties are getting a particularly large number of votes. However, the phenomenon of the increasing shift to the right is by no means limited to those areas. Right-wing and xenophobic attitudes are on the rise in society and politics across Germany, which was particularly visible in the 2025 federal elections.
Because I am concerned about this, but also want to understand the reasons for the increasing dissatisfaction and the associated shift to the right, I travel to Pirna and get into conversation with elderly people on the streets, in senior residences and with locals in a pub in the city center. I am especially interested in their concerns and wishes with regard to the care situation in Germany and the topic of immigration.
Lea: How do you imagine your life in Pirna? S: A quiet life, not as hectic and rushed as here. (…) I hope…I mean as you hear (laughs), it’s really great in Germany, work is easier there and makes you happy.
recording 08.04.2024, Bishkek
“The nursing home wasn’t as well equipped in GDR times, but it didn’t matter, people had a decent life there. They could help with the dishes in the kitchen, do something… Nowadays… Do you know how old people are treated? I said ‘anything but a nursing home’.”
recording, 02.07.2024, Pirna
In the documentary ‘This Must Be The Place’ (45 min), I interweave the perspective of Kyrgyz nurses preparing for migration, the perspective of senior citizens and pub guests from the small town of Pirna and my own perspective as a documentary filmmaker traveling between places.
To approach the complexity around the topic of migration and care work, I engage with a variety of voices and places that I encounter throughout my research journey. Rather than focusing on a single site, as would be the case with conventional fieldwork, I involve multiple sites of observation and participation. (multi-sited ethnography)
I see the film as a mosaic of impressions that poses questions rather than provides answers.
Lea: Where would you like to live when you’re old?
Student 1: In Kyrgyzstan, of course!
Student 2: I can’t say. Time will tell.
Student 3: (grinning) To be honest, in Germany. In some home for the elderly, so you don’t torture your children and grandchildren. (some laugh)
recording, 28.04.2024, Bishkek, A2 German course
The EDUVISO participants I speak to have been learning German for several years and some have difficulties passing the exams. At the same time, the German language also plays a crucial role for me in the research process. Without the participants’ knowledge of German, verbal communication between us would not be possible for the time being; I speak neither Russian nor Kyrgyz. But I also realize how our verbal exchange is limited by language barriers. Overall, spending time together beyond interview set ups makes a significant contribution to my learning process. We get to know each other while they show me around places in the city, we visit the family in the village, take a trip to the mountains by car or listen to music.
When I arrived at the airport in Bishkek last night, T., S. and Z. (three EDUVISO participants) picked me up by car. We drove through the darkness to my apartment and they turned on various music: Kyrgyz music, English music and also the German pop song ‘Die immer lacht’ (translation: ‘The one who always laughs’ by Kerstin Ott. field note, 07.04.2025, Bishkek
Whereas the city of Pirna is also new to me, here, I approach people without getting to know each other before, spontaneously, which is possible through a shared language.
The town is situated in an idyllic location on the Elbe river, surrounded by hills. While my gaze kept falling on the mountains, animals and flowers while filming in Kyrgyzstan, I pay more attention to text and symbolism in Pirna, as I speak the language and am familiar with the socio-political context. Election posters and snippets of conversation from people passing by catch my attention.
I walk with G. and S. (*Kyrgyz nurses who just arrived in Pirna some weeks ago) towards the river. A few young people on bicycles pass by. One of the boys starts to sing “Deutschland den Deutschen, Ausländer raus” (“Foreigners out, Germany for the Germans”) to the beat of “L’amour toujours” by Gigi D’Agostino.
field note, 02.06.2024, Pirna
Over the course of six weeks, Bishkek became more familiar to me, and I kept returning to certain places. Especially where there are animals to watch; pigeons bathe in the almost dried-up riverbed, and one afternoon I observe small puppies and their mother in the bushes next to the water. The babies may have been born just a few days ago. Squirrels hop around people in the park.
Somehow, the presence of the animals makes me feel comfortable and relaxed as I try to engage with a new place and new people.
Later, in Pirna, I meet two of the nurses who have just arrived. After an interview, we watch the geese along the river and they remember the geese in Kyrgyzstan. Various people, old and young, seem to enjoy hanging out here among the cackling animals. For a short moment, it feels like a place can be shared by living beings regardless of language.
G: I have both feelings. Worried and happy and a little sad. Because soon I will fly to Germany and yes, I am afraid to start a new life in Germany. But I hope everything will be fine.
Kanye Ost aka Karel Ott aka KO is born in East-Berlin (German Democratic Republic) in 1986. Rapper for Ostberlin Androgyn and singer and songwriter for Bistro Palme.
Looking at your musical journey, we see a striking transformation—from a “guitar guy” performing at reading circles to a rising rap star. What sparked this radical shift? Can you take us through the key moments that shaped your evolution as an artist?
As a small child, I loved singing, especially the “Biene Maja” title melody by Karel Gott in front of my family. I probably received too much positive feedback from my parents and my Schlager-music-loving grandmother for that – so even as a small child, I started to dream about being a singer. When I was 12, I bought my first guitar and started writing my first songs. Since I was 16, I have played in different rock bands, usually writing lyrics, singing, and playing guitar.
In 2010, my friends Sarah Bosetti, Daniel Hoth, Karsten Lampe, and I started the reading stage “Couchpoetos,” where my friends performed their newest poetry-slam texts, and I regularly performed my newest songs as the “guitar guy” once or twice a month.
In 2016, Daniel and I were chilling and smoking a lot, and we came up with the idea of performing two rap songs as “Ostberlin Androgyn” on our Couchpoetos stage. At first, it was just an easy-going idea for fun, but the audience’s reaction showed us clearly that the idea of an Ostberlin Androgyn rap crew was special and unique and that we could perform different parts of our artistic identities in a more radical way than before. The audience celebrated us and taught us to take ourselves seriously as Ostberlin Androgyn.
So, we decided to make it a real project and started recording our first EP. We released the EP in 2017, and by 2018, we already had a gig at Fusion Festival, everything happened very quickly back then.
Credit: Sebastian Hermann
You’ve described rap as a liberating force, a genre where you truly felt the flow and freedom. What was it about rap that resonated with you so deeply? How did things take off so quickly once you embraced it? And how did Ostberlin Androgyn come together as a project? Can you share the story behind the group’s vision and your role as Kanye Ost?
I’ve been listening to rap since I was 16, even though my main musical interests at the time were punk and rock. The German rap I listened to was pretty raw and intense—Westberlin Maskulin with Kool Savas and Taktloss, Aggro Berlin with Sido, B-Tight, Bushido and Fler, as well as MOR, Prinz Porno, and later KIZ. I was mainly into underground rap from West Berlin. I liked its roughness and direct messaging. The lyrical quality of late ‘90s West Berlin battle rap was much sharper and more intelligent than the more popular fun or conscious hip-hop coming out of Hamburg and Stuttgart at the time.
The only problem was the content. I didn’t feel comfortable sharing this music with my Antifa friends because of the often violent, sexist, and homophobic lyrics in West Berlin underground rap. Even though these artists aimed to provoke and used harsh street language as part of the battle aesthetic, sometimes ironically, it still reinforced problematic ideas. But despite that, I preferred this style of rap because of its street credibility, Berlin-style harshness, and underground appeal compared to other, more boring German rap.
We came up with the name Ostberlin Androgyn as a direct play on Westberlin Maskulin. Both Daniel and I grew up in Berlin-Hohenschönhausen, a Plattenbau neighborhood from the GDR era, so “Ostberlin” was an important part of our identity. Since we were both men, we couldn’t just flip “Maskulin” into “Feminin,” so we chose “Androgyn” instead, representing a softer and more fluid idea of masculinity.
Once we had Ostberlin Androgyn as our crew name, we started looking for fitting rapper alter egos. My name, Kanye Ost, came to me almost instantly—I liked Kanye West’s unique production and rap style, and the name followed the same reversal principle as our crew’s name (…and let’s not talk about today’s Kanye West, hehe). Daniel’s alter ego, Gregor Easy, was actually the result of a Freudian slip—a family member meant to mention DIE LINKE politician Gregor Gysi but accidentally left out a “G,” and Gregor Easy was born!
Even before writing our first rap lyrics, we had already chosen our crew name and alter egos. Content-wise, we focused on a post-historical perspective on our GDR identities. Gregor Easy’s father was a member of the GDR’s military, the Nationale Volksarmee (NVA), and drank himself to death after the fall of the Berlin Wall and West Germany’s takeover of the former GDR. My parents saw themselves as socialist pioneers when they moved to East Berlin. I was born in 1986 and grew up with a father who worked for the GDR secret service, the Ministerium für Staatssicherheit (Stasi), and a mother who studied Marxism-Leninism and Russian to become a teacher.
Many people from the former GDR had major difficulties finding orientation in a capitalist world they had to adapt to since 1990. These issues, along with some ironic and nostalgic views on our own history, are central points of our lyrics.
Another important aspect of our content is that we always wanted to be direct and “hard” without being toxic men – so we don’t use sexist or homophobic language and prefer to diss jerks, rich kids, and other annoying people instead of, for example, women or gay people.
Gregor Easy’s funny way of dissing assholes and my honest lyrics about my history of drug use gave us some street credibility, so that people could take us seriously as an underground rap crew.
When we released our first EP on vinyl in 2017, we produced a music video for our track “Takeover 2017,” and we asked our friend, the producer Spoke, to make it. During the shooting, we felt a strong connection and good vibes. Spoke was already producing beats back then, and afterward, Spoke joined our crew as a member and producer from 2018 to 2021.
Spoke organized a gig for us at Freilauf Festival in 2017, and there we met our future booker, Donna from eq:booking agency, who fell in love with our music and organized many gigs for us.
In the following years, we released some tapes and vinyl records (the last one, “Im Osten nichts Neues,” was released on Audiolith, a record label from Hamburg), and we went on tour, playing lots of gigs. Then the Corona pandemic came and devastated underground music and club culture in Germany (including us). These days, we are working on a new album again and hope to release it by the end of 2025.
Your other project, Bistro Palme, explores a completely different genre. What draws you to exist in two musical worlds? Do you feel a different creative energy in each, or do they feed into each other in unexpected ways?
As a listener, I have always been open to all styles of music, and as an artist, I have usually been involved in two or three different projects at the same time. So, for me, there isn’t really a division between separate musical worlds, there is just one big musical space where you can express different emotions through different styles.
As a person, you don’t wake up every day feeling the same way or listening to the same song over and over. People experience a range of emotions, go through different phases in life. Some days, you might feel like listening to death metal; other days, you might be in the mood for hyperpop. That doesn’t change who you are. As an artist, it’s the same for me: I have different emotions, and I can express myself through different musical styles, all as one and the same artist.
To be honest, this approach feels completely natural to me, so I don’t really struggle with the idea of being both a rapper in an underground crew and a singer in a playful rock big band at the same time.
When I started rapping at the age of 30, I was shocked by how free I felt on stage; without a guitar and without that typical “sad white guy with a guitar” image. At first, I really wanted to focus on Ostberlin Androgyn and was happy that I didn’t have to play the guitar. But composing songs on the guitar never really stopped for me, and Bistro Palme became the project where I could channel those songs. I started it with friends at almost the same time as Ostberlin Androgyn. However, since Bistro Palme consists of eight musicians (playing double bass, cello, violin, guitar, saxophone, flutes, drums, and keyboards), the production and release process takes much longer and requires more energy. As a result, Bistro Palme has had less output compared to Ostberlin Androgyn, but it has always existed. Just a little more “hidden” in the background. These days, my focus has shifted back towards Bistro Palme. We released our first album, Es geht vorab!, on vinyl in November 2024, and we’re playing live quite frequently.
In Ostberlin Androgyn, I am “Kanye Ost,” and in Bistro Palme, I am “Karel Ott”, so in both projects, I am still “KO.” There is a strong connection between these two personas, but of course, they are different on stage. Kanye Ost is a little more wild, chaotic, humorous, and self-destructive, while Karel Ott is a little more mature, reflective, and philosophical.
So, in the end, it’s not about different creative energies. It‘s all one and the same creative force that I put into both projects. The difference is more about the “mode” I am in at a given time or the particular focus I choose.
Another element that connects Ostberlin Androgyn and Bistro Palme is the use of radically honest lyrics. In pop music, there is often a tendency to sugarcoat life and the world we live in—there’s a lot of romanticizing and feel-good content. I like the idea of filling that kind of music with real-life struggles and true stories. For example, making a sweet, melodic song about depression and how even a crying face can have beauty, or writing a rap track about people who died at the Berlin Wall. Breaking taboos, addressing both personal and societal trauma, and talking about struggles that most people experience but rarely discuss, that’s what interests me as an artist… and as someone with some good therapy experience! 😀
Credit: Sebastian Hermann
East Berlin’s influence is unmistakable in your work—it’s woven into your artistic identity. How did growing up in East Berlin shape your music, your lyrics, and your creative vision?
First of all, there was always a huge gap between my personal childhood memories (as well as the mostly positive way my parents talk and think about socialism and life in the GDR) on the one hand, and what we had to read in school during my later (capitalist) childhood about the GDR and Stasi on the other hand. The GDR was presented as a totalitarian system similar to National Socialism. In movies and media, people who worked at the Ministerium für Staatssicherheit were usually portrayed as cold and inherently bad figures. Some members of my family worked for the Stasi, and I knew from my own experience that they were not the monsters that capitalist victory narratives described them as.
At the same time, from school, media, and contemporary witnesses, I learned that the overly positive view my family had of the GDR was also not super close to reality. I felt that the truth must be somewhere in between, and I have been searching for it my whole life. That search for truth has definitely shaped my artistic views – I have always felt that writing songs brings me closer to it than studying ever could.
I feel like my generation has a unique perspective on upheaval and the clash of different systems. We were born in East Berlin, spent our early childhood in the socialist German Democratic Republic, and then experienced “Die Wende” in 1990, which brought capitalism crashing into our society and radically changed everyone’s life. People lost their jobs and parts of their identities; many took their own lives because they could no longer understand the world around them. The generation before mine was fully shaped by a socialist mindset in a socialist world. The generation after mine grew up entirely in a capitalist world. But my generation experienced both, and we learned that a system can collapse, yet life still goes on. That knowledge—of resilience and survival—probably plays a central role in my art. For us, catastrophe and breakdown were normal, which may explain my tendency to explore uneasy topics.
After reunification, companies and individuals from West Germany easily took advantage of East Germans economically. Most people from the GDR had no real understanding of how the harsh “free” market worked—getting some Deutsche Marks always seemed like a good deal. Today, nearly all houses, businesses, and industrial structures in the former GDR are owned by Western companies or private individuals. Even in 2025, people in East Germany still earn around 15% less for the same work compared to those in the West. Being East German is still often associated with a sense of injustice and being positioned as the loser. Having less power and money than others, yet still trying to make my voice heard and reclaim space, is probably a major motivation for my art as well.
When I started school in 1993 in Berlin-Hohenschönhausen, my friends and I collected Coca-Cola cans with special Bundesliga logos and proudly displayed that capitalist trash on top of our bedroom wardrobes. In the GDR, we didn’t have much material wealth, so even Coca-Cola cans seemed valuable to us. Many things were scarce in the GDR, so if you had to repair your car, you had to improvise. That spirit of improvisation—of trial and error until you hopefully find a solution—is exactly how I make music. This is probably also why I produce different styles of music—there is no single way to find answers or solutions, so I try different approaches at the same time.
Migrant rappers, especially Turkish-German artists, have played a crucial role in shaping German rap as we know it today. Do you think German rap has always been intercultural, or was there a time when Turkish-German artists were on the fringes of the scene? Do you see a divide between the mainstream German rap scene and Turkish-German rap, or have those boundaries blurred over time?
As I mentioned before, when I first started listening to German rap, I was mainly drawn to battle rap from West Berlin, which was dominated by migrant rappers, including German-Turkish artist Kool Savas. Ironically, in my view, it was actually white German artists who were on the fringes of the scene and had to carve out their own place within the German battle rap bubble. In my eyes, German rap was primarily created and shaped by migrant artists.
The first German rap track I ever listened to was Fremd im eigenen Land (“Foreign in My Own Country”) by the Heidelberg-based crew Advanced Chemistry, released in 1992. In the song, Torch and Toni-L rap about their migrant backgrounds, highlighting how simply holding a German passport didn’t make them feel German, as they still faced discrimination for being migrants in Germany.
From a historical perspective, I believe German rap has always been driven by artists with migrant backgrounds. Over the years, the genre has evolved and diversified significantly to the point where today, anyone can become a rapper. In terms of success, having a migrant background no longer plays as decisive a role as it once did.
Many of the most successful German rap artists in recent years come from migrant backgrounds. Haftbefehl is Kurdish, Shirin David has Lithuanian and Iranian roots, Eko Fresh is of Turkish descent, Capital Bra is Ukrainian, and Bushido is German-Tunisian—the list goes on.
Hip-hop is probably the only music scene in Germany that authentically represents migrant perspectives and experiences, both in quality and quantity, in a way that truly reflects the realities of German society.
So this summer, I made a comic book with Allah and the AI. Let me explain.
Allah is the Arabic word for god, but because of the way the Islamic faith is structured; it’s most often used in reference to the one true God of the Abrahamic religions, rather than referring to any other deity of any other belief system like the word god does in English. Allah, aside from being the creator of all life and the known universe; is also the author of Qur’an, the holy book of Islam. This is significant. Muslims believe that the words in the Qur’an are the words of Allah itself.
When you read the book, you can see how that works out. Allah talks in the first person plural for most of the time, describing in detail what their wishes are and what they expect from their followers. Allah also takes direct credit for all the Abrahamic belief system, whether it be Judaism or the pre-Islamic Hanifism. The book is very clear: All the prophets from Moses to Joseph worshipped the same god, tried to spread the same set of instructions but the message got corrupted by the greed and frailty of men. So the Qur’an is the final book. Mohammed is the final Abrahamic prophet. Allah has spoken its final word.
So. I made a comic book with Allah and the AI. Once again, let me explain.
Midjourney is an artificial intelligence program that creates images from textual descriptions, which is a fancy way of saying that it’s a robot who turns words into images. It’s not too dissimilar to other text-to-image AI programs like Stable Diffusion or DALL-E in its functionality: You give the robot a prompt, robot parses that prompt and generates an image based on the dataset it’s using. Where Midjourney feels different is how it seems to be able to convey the sense of emotion. The prompts you give to Midjourney turn into seemingly more touching images, in seemingly purposeful color-generation and seemingly deliberate compositional choices. Where other text-to-image AI programs seek to turn the words into images in a more representational manner; Midjourney is also comfortable dealing in the abstract. You don’t just have to ask the robot to make you a picture of Napoleon Bonaparte riding a shark through lava, you can also just ask the robot to make you a picture of that dread you feel after an uncertain breakup. Ask the robot to paint an idiom. Feed the robot some lines from your favorite poem.
Or give it the words of Allah.
So. This summer. Me, Allah and the AI. We made a comic book.
I was sitting on my balcony in Leipzig when I suddenly decided to read the Qur’an. I was reading about the representation of other prophets in the Qur’an, you see; and I found out that there was a whole surah, or chapter named after Mary, mother of Jesus; talking about not only Mary and Jesus but also about Moses and Joseph and Jacob and Isaac and Ishmael and Adam and Zecheriah and Noah; so in essence, all the Abrahamic protagonists. With an excitement not unlike the one I feel when I’m about to watch a superhero movie where characters from other movies get together, I started to read.
Then as I read I wondered, what would the robot make of this?
Here’s what I did: I compared and contrasted passable English translations of the Qur’an. I collected the ayet, or the verses of the surah Mary dealing with the birth of Jesus. I then fed those verses to the robot. Midjourney gives you four options with each prompt and can further work on an option should you choose to. So I curated the images accordingly. Then finally, I found a comic-book looking free font on Dafont, and put the corresponding ayah on the image the robot made of it and placed the images as if they were panels of a comic book.
So. Words by Allah. Art by the AI. Edited by a human being. Allah, AI and I made a comic book together.
The summer of Her Absence Fill the World was an interesting one.
The band; which were featured in the previous issues of DolmusXpress, went on its first three live shows throughout the course of last summer.
First one was in a music festival called Art Carnivale in Steendam, Netherlands.
Second one was in a club called Christa Kupfer, located on Maybachufer, Berlin.
And the last one was at a streetfest called Kiezfest, on Mainzer Straße; in Neukölln.
These are three very different settings to play your first three gigs in, so it became impossible not to wonder how it felt for the band.
We met up over Discord, and they answered four simple questions.
This was the first one.
Which one was the most challenging?
Sascha: I think Kiezfest, for me. I felt a bit strange about the audience, because it was a moving audience. If you’re feeling a bit nervous maybe, the moving audience will be more challenging in my opinion because you will not get a direct feedback regarding whether they like it or not. They kind of just ignore when they pass through.
Kubi: I was thinking the first one was really challenging, but then listening to what Sascha was saying and then I realized that yeah actually the last one was challenging in a different way because people are moving. It’s hard to focus, it’s really hard to build an atmosphere playing on the street.
Kubi then adds,
Kubi: For me they were all actually challenging in different directions. But it’s good to be challenged, right?
Sascha: I think also the feeling you got afterwards, when you look at it retrospectively; it’s the balance of anxieties or challenges you had before compared to the reward you feel afterwards and for that I think the last one was the most challenging, because the reward wasn’t balancing enough.
Which very gratefully brings us to the second question. Which one was the most fulfilling?
Sascha: The first will always be super special and beautiful, and it felt very fulfilling. The one in the club too, they were fulfilling in different ways. I can’t really pick between those two.
Kubi: It’s really hard to rank them. The first one was super magical. It was our first concert, first of all. Also we were weirdly headlining. In our first concert. So it was extra pressure and it was a bit ridiculous but it was amazing. We prepared for months for that concert.
But I would say Christa Kupfer was really special for me too because Christa Kupfer is home to me and we were presenting our project to our friends. Our family I would say. Because of that it was like a launch for us.
The conversation then drifts into how the experience of a live performance is split in two ways: The preparation and the act. That brings us to our third question.
Which one was the most exciting?
Sascha: I think they were differently exciting. In the festival there was a more surprising and nice interaction with the people, but the club was exciting as well. It’s nice to see how music works in different surroundings and moods and where it can bring you emotionally in different settings. For example the Kiezfest was also exciting in this way, maybe exciting doesn’t have to mean positive all the time. It was exciting to see what’s happening there, which songs are working where and where they bring you emotionally.
Kubi: I would agree with that. We had three different concerts in three different settings. We already have more gigs scheduled and what we have in the future will either be this or that. I mean I can’t imagine a different setting than a festival, or a club or a street festival.
So we arrive at the final question.
Which one would they like to do again now that they know what they know?
Sascha: I think I would do the first two again. Not to make it better but it was super nice. I think I would feel a bit more relaxed so I can enjoy it a bit more. The last one was good practice as a performing artist, to play in front of an audience which is not giving you direct attention. I think even if it’s just one person, even if you feel maybe disappointed about it or disappointed about their reaction; I think it’s a good practice to play in front of them because this is your job in this moment. I think it’s good, even though it feels maybe weird.
Kubi: Seriously, I’ll be really honest: I wouldn’t go back to any of them. They were amazing but they were once-in-a-lifetime things. But I have a wish. If I really had a magical power to go back I would go to our first concert as an audience member. I would love to experience that. I think at the end of the day it was an interaction and it doesn’t matter which end you are at -either the audience or the band. In the concert there were moments where we felt unified and I enjoyed it but I would enjoy it also from the audience perspective.
Doğu Topaçlıoğlu’s exhibition ‘’Appropriation’’ will be held in Ka between 15-22 February. The exhibition consists of sonic arrangements and aims to present an alternative perception of plasticity. The artist works on the sound’s ability to make objective and situational changes in ontological state of the object; while creating relations between psycho-acoustic possibilities, sculpture and drawing.
Doğu was born in 1989 to an avid reader mother and a painter father. Until 7 years old, he spent considerable time together with his grandmother. During this time, he used to collect dirt from the street to bring home and hid under the carpet. He collected rain drops in his mouth. He moved the paintings on his grandmother’s walls and scratched the wall behind them. Later he would describe this naive journey as a natural occurrence of automated behavior, a type of behavior one would develop when trying to perceive life as it is. It appears that the elements of the house he was born in, the dirt under the carpet, together with the scent of paint and thinner steered him towards his journey, although did not pick the direction. Graduating from Ankara Anatolian High School Of Fine Arts and entering Hacettepe University Department Of Sculpture were only two stops on this long journey; separated by time, united in direction. Doğu is chasing after a feeling, a thrill; which he doesn’t and doesn’t want to put an end to it. This is why he doesn’t seem to separate his life from his art. The way he is searching for himself, and the way he can’t seem to catch the speed of his own mind; reminds me of a saying I heard in an African narrative:
“We are going fast, and our souls are staying behind.”
Doğu likes to share the excitement of the process of not knowing what his next piece or material will be. To understand his works, one should consider the concepts of timelessness and sense of anachronism. Just like how he tried to understand what does inside, outside and their borders mean at an early age; he is now observing the objects, events, sounds, notion and intersections with the same excitement and curiosity. He is finding his own mutual reflexes under these environments and conditions; resulting in his own language. As if Doğu had designed a machine and any input that goes in, goes out translated in his language. As if one might put a musical note into that machine and Doğu would listen it enough so that the note would start to come out, harboring all other notes. His interaction with music often transitions into the environment. Doğu doesn’t see much of a border in between. When he is composing; he often drifts from the original idea and discovers countless new patterns, only to be turned back to the original idea. He sees this journey as a must to go back to the point of origin.
This biography came out as a transformative idea to accompany his evolving journey. Instead of listing the events of his life linearly, I offered to capture a few pieces from the time that brought him here. I wanted to leave the reader a space to play with, so they can be a part of this writing. This writing is avoiding the concrete, it is unsure, and it is still on a journey searching for itself. It will be written once more together in separate times with every reader and will never be complete.
Hello Tolga, first of all, do you have a name for the work you do? Did you put names to them?
These are the products of my perspective, which can be called the expression of my mood when I sit to work on my computer at that moment.
You usually work with abstract ideas, what inspires you?
In general, what I think about doing, producing, is about what is happening in life, or changes that are happening in the environment, rather than my own life. I mean, I filter, what life throws at me, through my filter. Nature, history, other works, architecture, technology, in short, the visual data I encounter in life inspire me. I have been interested in visuals since childhood, in fact, this situation started with photography, evolved into cinema over time, after studying cinema and television, I realized that it did not allow me to express myself the way I wanted, and finally I met 3D, and I found sort of a freedom that I seeked. Light, angle, color I was excited to be able to adjust every conceivable variable as I wanted and I started to deepen in this area.
The biggest point is doing the work from the computer. Are there various programs to do this work? Or are you using a specific program?
These are technologies that are developing every day. There is no end to learning a program, in fact, several programs can be used for many different aspects of the work. Many people also use more than one program. If you are looking for an alternative style, it is useful to use more than one program.
https://vimeo.com/779273121
Do you use more than one program in the same project?
Yes. I think that Maya, Blender and Houidini are useful programs, these are the first ones that come to mind. I mainly use Maya, After Effects and Premier are also involved, or if I’m doing an audio reactive work, I use Resolume. I usually use more than one program. I started this journey with Maya, with courses from the Internet, and of course I also learned on my own. But as I said, there is no end, the deeper you go, the deeper it gets. My learning process is not over either. In fact, production is developing as you produce. I think the main point is to discover what to produce with the inputs we get after learning to use a program. I am also at this interrogation point, in fact, I want to explore my own style and deepen in it. It’s a playground for me. I have been doing this work for two years and many artists I have been inspired by have been instrumental in starting the process. Most of the work I do is also related to music, the fact that music is a texture in my work also allows me to decipher a different depth in the work I produce. When music is combined with visual elements, very striking results come out. That I’m after. I really like to appeal to different senses. These feelings and the combination of these elements stand out in the work we have done together with Her Absence Fill the World. In other words, the music I listen to, the images engraved in my mind, the whole of what I see and feel while doing the work constitute the essence of the work.
You mentioned Her Absence Fill the World, the work you did was very appreciated. How was that, how did it make you feel?
When they said that they wanted to make a music video for their song, I got excited, it was a pleasure to work together with Kubi and Sascha. I liked the song very much at first, ideas started to come to my mind immediately. They also had a lot of ideas, but they gave me a nice space to put forward what I had in my head, and it was also really nice. So I was able to convey my feelings, of course, there were also items that they specifically wanted, for example, the green door. What they wanted and my feelings came together, and this beautiful work came out. On top of that, we carried out the entire process from our computers, they from Berlin, and I, from Ankara. We have taken the process from the beginning many times, my computer has changed, improved, as a result, we have started to get more beautiful and realistic textures. The whole process was like an adventure. It was also pleasant to watch the process develop and change in itself. There were very nice reactions, it was my first music video experience, the whole process and the aftermath were very enjoyable. This work has given me a lot of inspiration, it has also been an inspiration for me to look into more works like this.
What are you working on these days?
These days, I am working on a project where I aim to produce audio reactive visuals by combining them with the audio files I have produced. On the other hand, I have started to produce short loops in motion graphics. I will soon start sharing my works in this field under a different name. Apart from all these, I still continue to learn, at the same time, I would like to thank DolmuşXpress and everyone who contributed. We had a lot of fun, I hope all readers will share the same pleasure with us.
Tolga Ateş
Interview: Yigitcan Erdoğan, Ilgın Nehir Akfırat
Translation from Turkish Original: Ilgın Nehir Akfırat
This is a multi-layered question, there are many kinds of circles, and from the point of view, every relationship in life, birth-death-birth, is also a circle. It would be more appropriate for me to answer this with a piece from dear Filiz Telek’s book about the circle where I did my apprenticeship. At the same time, the circle section of the book ”Kadınlar Şifadır” on the website available as a gift in pdf form. It can also be read in detail from there.
“Circle practice is a ritual. The beginning and the end are obvious; when we open the circle, we undertake to stand out from our daily life and consciousness and present our existence to the mother and to each other with a higher awareness, unity consciousness. In this ritual, we intend to comprehend the great mystery in the testimony of each other, listen with our ears, witness with the eyes of the heart, speak with the language of the heart, search for relationship and truth beyond right and wrong. When practiced properly, the circle is a compassionate embrace that heals everyone and everything, a womb that makes it possible for us to contact the deep wisdom within us, and sometimes a mirror that allows us to see what we need to face.” Filiz Telek Kadınlar Şifadır, p. 342.
At this point, I will be changing the question and answering, what is the circle for Ayşe. For me, the circle is a playground without boundaries. It is a place where I deeply feel that I live and where I meet the beauty of life. When I practice deep listening and get together with people in a circle, it is both deep and old, and fresh and new acquaintance for me.
There is a wide variety of circle practice, I learn new ones day by day, I discover and have a chance to experience. The circle I’ve enjoyed the most lately is sitting in a circle with nature. Sometimes I sit in a circle with a tree, sometimes with a chair in my house, sometimes with a cloud that I watch, and this opens up completely different doors in my daily life practice. I mean, it’s kind of like a playground for me.
On the other hand, I had the chance to get acquainted with the prerequisites and basic principles of the Nature Council during a study retreat we held this summer. I’m in a period where I’m trying to internalize these things, which are making me very excited. Without going into the basic principles that express the heart of the Council, let me mention a few of the prerequisites:
Personal dedication to learning, knowing, growing.
To be willing to fail on the path of learning.
Dedication to cooperation, partnership, community as a way of meaning.
To be willing to question basic assumptions and beliefs and to approach them in the spirit of research.
Why do you think people have started sitting in circles lately? As a result of what need does this arise?
I think people are needing to listen and to be heard. As far as I have seen and experienced, being able to share this with other people who witness it in full presence, expressing this original voice in the way they wish in an unprejudiced space, deciphering their own original voice after coming together in a circle, is a great treasure in this world where everything is very fast. On the other hand, something we are very familiar with, if you ask when people started sitting in circles, I would say with the discovery of fire. Stories come to the circles, and these stories, personal or not, change the perception of time and space. While we are making the idea of ”being connected with the invisible ties visible” with the circle, we also make a close contact with the great spirit behind everything, the creator, emptiness, nothing; on behalf of whatever we say, and this can nourish a person very much. Of course, when you do it with manners, it becomes even better.
How was your first circle experience that you organized?
This question is a contradictory one, when we meet in a circle, each of us turns into equivalent units sitting at equal distances from the center. Because of this, I was also a circle participant. If you ask what was the experience of giving a circle invitation or preparing before the circle, it is very exciting, very curious, panicking in some places, and in general, it is an extremely satisfying, questioning process. Why am I doing this, what does it serve to, what kind of impact does it have, it is a process that I am investigating and questioning these matters. On the other hand, while apprenticing to the circle, I was surrounded by very beautiful comrades. I have many beautiful friends who have given many years and effort to this path. The most precious part of the preparation process for me is to knock on their door and get them witness my extremely excited states mixed with panic, and it is tremendous that they share their experiences, knowledge with me and show me the way.
Where can we reach the circles? What do we need to sit in a circle?
First of all, you just need to be willing to sit in the circle. Other than that, I don’t think you need anything. Those who sit in the circle understand this. Those who are not have yet sit will understand when they do so.
First of all, there are circle announcements especially for women on Filiz Telek’s website and instagram account. Aliye Burcu Ertunç opens very beautiful circle areas that are different from each other, she announces them from her instagram account. Aybike Savaşır Serdar again, she opens very beautiful areas that she announces via Instagram. Aysu Erdoğdu Miskbay both from Cadıların Bilgeliği and from her own web site, makes very festive circle invitations. Emre Ertegün is opening circles in different areas, as far as I know, he is also announcing it on instagram.
Many of my friends I work with on the Kadınlar Şifadır Platform are also opening circles and there are many more who give different invitations in different areas, this list goes on and on… Some of these invitations can be followed from the Instagram account of Kadınlar Şifadır .
From time to time I give invitations and announce them on instagram for now. On the one hand, I am preparing a website, and I will be announcing them from there also.
What is next now? The university years that seemed like they would never end were over! Özgün was absently walking through Middle East Technical University in Ankara, the capital city of Turkey after their last exam. They mumbled on by themself:
-“I guess it wasn’t a good idea to finish my studies my dear, what am I supposed to do right now?”
Özgün remembered the moment when they came from a remote corner of Anatolia and walked through the door of this campus like it was only yesterday. Years ago, they were finally able to free themself from the suffocating monotony of the countryside and plunge into a social mobility, namely into a life of a university campus. But Özgün had never considered that this study experience would only form just a small part of their life. They were like fish out of water. Terrifying feelings were rushing on them. They were graduating.
Courtesy of Yiğitcan Erdoğan
Courtesy of Yiğitcan Erdoğan
Courtesy of Yiğitcan Erdoğan
Courtesy of Yiğitcan Erdoğan
Courtesy of Yiğitcan Erdoğan
Özgün felt even more upset with themself when they saw how happy everyone else was to graduate, celebrating their graduation childishly. Proceeding from the fact that the probability of something going wrong with everyone except themself is very low, they decided to concentrate their thoughts on themself. Actually, Özgün just forgot that they were going to graduate one day, and it wasn’t a big deal in the end. They had assumed that they would live like this for the rest of their life. A simple mistake, an innocent premise…
Özgün had to find a solution. What should they do now? Would they start working? What would happen to their political ideals, their artistic dreams, and their search for an alternative life? Was it over? Everything they had ever dreamed of and believed in was collapsing like sandcastles. Their closest friends were starting to get jobs one by one, and now only their career plans were mentioned in confabulations as if almost everyone has prepared a ten-year development plan and had even started to implement it step by step. Indeed, Özgün didn’t even know what their plans for the next ten days are. The money they had, could at most protect them from hunger and cold for a few more months. Özgün felt very stuck. Özgün kept repeating: this story shouldn’t end like this.
Whilst thinking about these matters, Özgün raised their head and realized that they had come to the bus stop next to the cafeteria. Özgün had to take the Ayrancı shuttle from there, to go home. But Özgün didn’t want to get on yet. Özgün was thinking with a good sense when they were walking. At the same time, walking was calming them down, making them feel better. They decided to walk a little further, pass the Revolution stadium, which was called that way because of the writing on top: “Revolution”, and get on the shuttle from there, in front of the dormitories. They were very confident that while walking they would suddenly find a radical and clever solution to all their problems.
Özgün raised their head again. They were in front of the dormitories. But they couldn’t pull a rabbit out of a hat yet. They started to walk up to the gate of the university, known as A4. The rabbit would be pulled for sure until they get there.
Özgün raised their head: A4. Still no rabbits. They got out of the university. ”I’ll get on from Yüzüncüyıl Bazaar”, they said. This time perhaps, it is not possible to pull a rabbit out of a hat under these circumstances, they thought.
Raised their head again: Yüzüncüyıl Bazaar. There is no hope. Destination: Karakusunlar. ”But I will for sure catch the shuttle in there!”
They raised their head one more time: Karakusunlar. There is no solution. They started to think about their own condition they are in… Direction: Balgat crossroads. ”I have to get on the shuttle from there, how long I can walk?”
They raised their head: Balgat crossroad. “What will happen to my political ideals?” Direction: Sokullu. ”Fuck the shuttle, I’ll get on once I’m tired.”
They raised their head: Sokullu. “What will happen to my artistic dreams?” Direction: Hoşdere. “May God damn the shuttle and this order!”
They raised their head: Hoşdere. “What will happen to my search for an alternative life?” Destination: Ayrancı. ”I’m almost in Ayrancı.”
They raised their head: Ayrancı. “Will I starve to death if I pursue my dreams?” “Is this how this system works?”. “So my subjectivity has no value in the face of material conditions?” Direction: Alaçam Street, home.
Courtesy of Yiğitcan Erdoğan
Courtesy of Yiğitcan Erdoğan
Courtesy of Yiğitcan Erdoğan
Courtesy of Yiğitcan Erdoğan
They were quite tired when they arrived at Alaçam Street. But they didn’t want to go into the house just yet. They knew that if they entered their home without finding any solution, it would mean admitting defeat. Entering that house was a psychological border line in this case. They wanted to walk and think until they found a solution but their legs had no strength left, and their brain couldn’t move their legs any longer. In order not to enter the house yet, they sat in front of the second-hand bookshop on Alaçam Street. They checked the shop, it was closed, and there were only the owner’s cats inside, watching him through the window. They checked the time. Later in the evening, it was. As it was in these hours, there were no people on this street.
They tried to roll a cigarette as they took the tobacco out. Found the tobacco, found the filter, found the paper, but couldn’t find the lighter. They must have dropped it on the way. They weren’t exactly a smoker, however, were feeling the need for it greatly at that moment. The cigarette was an object of desire from after that moment, wave after wave, it was stimulating their body and mind.
They decided to ask the first person who passes through the street for a lighter. However, Alaçam Street was rather emptier than usual, with not a soul to be seen. They lay down on the grass in front of the shop, yet, sitting did not stop their fatigue. They were going to get up if they hear someone passing, and eventually were going to digest their defeat against life with a sad cigarette and will go straight home. At least they had tried to fight in their own way and deserved this honorable defeat. Özgün had nothing to do, so they released themself slowly…
Özgün was beginning to feel a kind of inner peace which they couldn’t understand exactly where it was coming from when the silence of Alaçam Street was torn by the engine noise of a vehicle that sound like a shuttle. Özgün continued to lie down without breaking their stride, and just took a glance. The shuttle stopped when it came across the second-hand bookstore. Özgün heard the driver of the shuttle open the front door. He spits on the floor, jumped out of the vehicle, and closed the door. After a glimpse of silence, the driver started screaming:
Neukölln, Neukölln, Neukölln… Ayrancı Neukölln. Ayra… Kaff, kaff, kaff… Captain Hakan had to stop screaming because of his sore throat. He grumbled about not having a road assistant and having to do everything himself at his age.
He was just about to start screaming again when he realized that no one was around and that he was shouting all alone. He piped down, embarrassed. Then, he couldn’t scream again. After all, according to a rumor, shuttle veterans are soft under their tough appearance. At least, it can be said that those who have passed through the mill are like this such as Hakan Kaptan.
He lit a cigarette. As soon as he did so, his eyes were fixed on the young who was looking at him with a raised head from in front of the shop. He realized that his previous unnecessary screaming had been witnessed by someone other than himself and he blushed a little more. This drama also brought a reflex, such as taking a harder pull from his cigarette, compared to a usual one. He kept the smoke in his lungs, more than ever, and he let out the smoke with all his fury. It was almost as if he had pinned the poison of his mind to the smoke and thrown it out.
The young had risen up and started to approach him. The clothes of this person, who is about to reach their mid-twenties, were very shabby according to Captain Hakan. An ugly gray t-shirt, which was obviously chosen and worn hastily over jeans, and besides, the antidote to chilly Ankara evenings was a brown cardigan, which years have worn out but could not kill. The captain rated this outfit as four out of ten.
However, his rate for his own clothes was nine, thanks to his modestness. It was in fact, a ten. There was no club in Berlin that he could not enter. In time, he learned about Berlin fashion. He likes black, and when he sees chains, he couldn’t help himself but he would put them on himself, or even on his shuttle. These chains were especially useful for the shuttle on snowy roads.
The young approached him. They politely asked for a lighter, smiling. Captain Hakan immediately took a shine on this person and, he took his lighter out of his pocket, handed it:
– There you go homie!
– Thank you (They took the lighter, lit their cigarette, and returned the lighter).
– You’re welcome.
– Is this shuttle line new? I’ve been living here for years and have never seen a single shuttle.
– Is that so? No, it’s not new, and I’ve been driving on this line for years.
– Interesting! Where is this place you call Neukölln? It’s not familiar… Is it around Cebeci?
– No, it is not. Neukölln is a district of Berlin.
The young was surprised. What was this driver, who was in all black like teenagers, saying?
– I don’t think you’re claiming that this shuttle goes to Berlin.
– On the contrary, that’s exactly what I’m saying, my young friend.
– Brother, don’t play with my mind, please, I’m already having a hard day.
– Far from it. Why would I do such a thing? Why are you having a hard day?
– Mmmmh. Now, it’s hard to explain when it’s suddenly asked like this, but… Anyway, let me give you a quick and direct summary. I finished studying. I’m drifting towards a life I don’t want. But I have no other choice, I think I have to submit to my fate. But still, it tears my heart out.
– Maybe that’s all Ankara can give you. How many years have you been in this city?
– It has been 6-7 years… I took a victory lap.
– My dear, I suggest you to change your city. The new city comes with its new energy. It is obvious that Ankara has already given what it can give you. You should be able to say thanks and move on, so that you don’t get dragged into a life you don’t want.
– It’s easy to say, how can I go?
– Big decisions are sometimes made in five years, sometimes in five seconds. In my experience, there is no difference between five-second ones and five-year ones.
– I don’t quite understand?
– Jump into the shuttle of Ayrancı-Neukölln. No need for money either. It’s on me this time. We’re going to Berlin. What’s your name by the way? I’m Captain Hakan.
– I am Özgün.
Özgün was very confused. What was happening? Were they dreaming? It was obviously a little too much for them to meet this strange shuttle driver, combined with the feeling of despair they had experienced in the last few hours. Instead of thinking a little more and deciding not to take this ride, they wanted to embark on this ridiculous adventure that appeared out of nowhere. So that they could forget about their narrowness a little. After all, this shuttle couldn’t really be going to Berlin.
They opened the front passenger door of the shuttle and jumped in. “Come on, Captain Hakan, let’s go!”. Captain took another puff on his cigarette and killed it under his foot. Jumped into the driver’s seat with a huff, started the engine. ”Aye aye”
Courtesy of Yiğitcan Erdoğan
Part III
It’s the shuttle. The spine of life. Let’s face it, we didn’t have a lot of metro networks, suburban trains, or trams. Even our bus lines were not enough. O my Anatolia! My poor but peaceful Anatolia. Shuttles would suit you the best. They move when they are full. People pass on the money, hand to hand. Maybe it is still the same. I don’t know. I have fallen away from my beloved Anatolia. Now Özgün and Captain Hakan are coming towards me. They can’t bring Anatolia to me, but they are bringing the shuttle of it. Well, sometimes it happens that way.
The shuttle is moving forward now. Ankara, Istanbul, then Athens, and from there to Prague. Then, ‘all aboard!’, Berlin. The last stop: Neukölln. S Sonnenallee to be exact. Captain Hakan always ends his journey there. His favorite club was here. It’s no longer here though! They destroyed it. Instead, they built luxurious offices. They gentrified the neighborhood! Hey rich white Europeans, no matter how much profit you make, you can’t buy the personas that Captain Hakan left in that club! Come on, don’t tell me fairy tales, come off it! They destroyed the club, but Captain Hakan still intends to respect the club, he always stops his shuttle there. You have destroyed it and the day will come when Captain Hakan will destroy you, you should not take especially a mine worker or a shuttle driver against you in this life, friend. You are going to learn this!
For now, the shuttle is moving forward, stopping, and moving off again. Slowly slowly, but also insistently and consistently. Sometimes a migrant gets on it, sometimes a sex worker, sometimes a dissident intellectual. If this shuttle could have talked, it would tell numerous deep stories to us! Some passengers of this shuttle flee from war, some from hunger, and some from oppression. Captain Hakan does not ask any questions to his passengers, and he doesn’t take any money. He doesn’t need money, he doesn’t do it for money.
Radio plays Anatolian folk songs, in Germany, and techno in Turkey. Between both countries, Captain Hakan gives the turn to passengers. His musical vocabulary expands this way, and a kind of social environment can be formed. People talk based on music. If they were to be silent, music would fill the silence. Music is good anyways. Captain Hakan likes to listen to music and make people listen.
The shuttle is moving forward, filling and emptying itself. Özgün, as happy as a bug in a rug, has thoroughly surrendered himself to the arms of the adventure. Captain Hakan got into his role again and started to step up the gear in the most elegant way.
Özgün realized that the road will not end any soon. He asked the Captain:
– Brother Hakan, where are we?
– I don’t know.
– What do you mean you don’t know? Aren’t you the driver?
– Why does the place matter, my dear, we are going!
– And when will we arrive?
– I don’t know.
– What do you mean you don’t know? If you don’t know, who will?
– What is the value of time, my dear, we are going!
– What matters then, brother, what?
– Don’t be mad. Look, the road is important, the journey is important! And we are going on it, there is no problem!
– You are so carefree captain, for sure you will live a long life.
The shuttle is moving forward, making a person both melancholic and bored. But anyway, the shuttle is hope. It is to go on the road. It is to leave a place behind and take the path to the unknown. Not everyone can go like a shuttle, not so easy.
The shuttle is moving forward, the road is getting longer and longer, and passengers are traveling in their inner worlds, besides traveling in the outer world. They go the same way outside and different ways inside. Özgün was thinking of the people they had kissed in Ankara, of course, there must be a reason. And Captain Hakan was thinking everyone he had sex with, probably there was no reason.
– Özgün, look, my dear, our friendship is all the way to Berlin. When you get there, you didn’t see me, you didn’t hear about me. I didn’t bring you. Don’t get me in trouble with the German police.
– How is it, Captain? What am I going to do there? Won’t you help me? It’s not nice. You’ve upset your loved ones.
– My dear, firstly, you are very sweet, of course, I would like to help, but firstly, I also have a life, although it’s hard to believe, and secondly, I would be doing evil if I helped you.
– What would cause that?
– My dear, you must learn to bite, or you will not be permanent in this city. If I help, you won’t learn to bite.
– Brother, you underestimated me so much, I could get water from a flint!
– My dear Özgün, look, it’s not that easy. How many brave fellows have passed in this city, it’s not that easy. Although you may not have noticed, when you travel to Berlin with this shuttle, you leave not only your hometown but also your privileges back.
– What a privilege! The situation is obvious in our country, what a privilege.
– Your privileges that you’re not even aware of, my Özgün. That you’re not even aware of. Those you can understand only when you lose them.
– Captain Hakan, don’t exaggerate, please.
– In short, now that you have come to the place of real Whites, your white Turkishness is not white enough my dear Özgün.
– There ought to be a law to say that I am a white Turk Captain. I’m from the countryside, a fucking countryside! Not a white Turk.
– I like to use concepts with a little twist dear Özgün. After all, I am not an academician, but a driver. They didn’t accept me for a doctorate before and the white privileged academy excluded my alternative views. The bastards even monopolize the knowledge. They even take the knowledge under their domination.
– And what did you do captain?
– I became a shuttle driver, as you can see. Instead of lessons, I chat in the shuttle. This is how we resist, my Özgün. Underground social science… That’s the deal. There isn’t anything to do!
– You’re a strange person, captain, definitely one of the strangest people I have ever met, I must say.
Captain Hakan pulled the shuttle to the right, slowed down, and stopped the vehicle. He looked at Özgün for a while. He didn’t say anything. Then he turned his gaze inside the shuttle:
– Dear passengers of the Ayrancı Neukölln Shuttle, welcome to Neukölln. Don’t forget to return to your homes at the end of the night. Viel Spaß!
